


Beggars Would Ride

by munich



Category: SM Entertainment | SMTown, 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 02:56:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6138937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/munich/pseuds/munich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They really shouldn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beggars Would Ride

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from the old proverb, "if wishes were horses, beggars would ride."

"Are you serious," spits Jessica, as she draws back. Taeyeon chases after her mouth. "So you don't even have anything else to say."

"Don't – why are you surprised – "

"You know what? I'm not," says Jessica.

Taeyeon leans in again, doesn't understand why Jessica's kissing her back; and for a moment some streak that wants to be cruel rears up, makes her say, "You never could keep away in the end."

"Fuck you," Jessica spits, pulling back, right before Taeyeon captures her mouth again. It is not a kiss. It is more like a war that neither is willing to lose. This is the kind that leaves wounds. This – this shouldn't burn so much. This shouldn't affect Taeyeon like this anymore. Then Jessica's mouth trembles and Taeyeon senses the opening, goes in to –

Jessica draws back. "Have you lost your mind? We're in the hallway – "

"Here," says Taeyeon, "Here. Here," because she can't think about anything else right now. They stumble into a dark closet. Jessica's back hits the wall and Taeyeon can't tell if she just pushed Jessica on purpose or by accident.

"Ow – " says Jessica. She gasps, and Taeyeon crowds Jessica up against the wall. She kisses Jessica, again. Their mouths slide against each other. Somebody is panting. The dark is a blessing until Jessica tears her mouth away. "What are you doing?" she hisses. The next kiss is violent. Jessica's lips part under the pressure. Everything about Jessica is unfamiliar, but, oh, this might –

Then it turns open-mouthed and dirty. For a moment everything blurs and narrows down only to the way Jessica's moving back against her and Taeyeon's wanted this for – she's bitten Jessica's lip, doesn't realize it until Jessica makes a stifled noise of surprise between them.

Then she does it again. Jessica moans against her mouth.

"Oh," Jessica says, "Oh," and the sound goes straight down between Taeyeon's legs in a way that's still so maddeningly effortless that Taeyeon nearly can't stand any of it. It's been so long since she's heard it. It's been forever.

Taeyeon tries to drown out the sound by kissing Jessica harder until Jessica's moans turn into tiny gasps, and that is even worse.

"This is so typical – " Jessica gasps. Taeyeon runs a hand up Jessica's side, untucks Jessica's shirt almost by mistake, and Jessica stops. Taeyeon still can't catch her own breath, can't catch a moment to herself, she still can't – think. She can't think past the feel of Jessica's body under her hands again. The way Jessica's back is arching towards her, now. Everything is coming back again.

Jessica's wrapped a leg around Taeyeon's waist just as she used to. Like it's instinct. Jessica tries again. Her voice is unsteady. "This is so typical of you."

"Shut up," says Taeyeon, but she can't stop herself from pressing closer into Jessica. 

"Admit it," says Jessica, pushing back into the touch.

"I think I'd know if you – "

"You don't know a thing about me, now," says Jessica, and Taeyeon kisses her even harder to make Jessica swallow the words back up. Maybe she kisses too hard. But she wants it to bruise. Jessica's head falls back against the wall.

There's a spot along Jessica's jaw. Taeyeon locates it, scrapes her teeth down just enough and Jessica makes the tiny involuntary noise in the back of her throat that Taeyeon remembers. Taeyeon's world spins. This is too much. No. This is not enough. Before she can think she's sliding a hand up the inside of Jessica's thigh, beneath Jessica's skirt, and Jessica's knees nearly buckle. Taeyeon realizes it and braces her up against the wall at the last second.

"Oh my god, you can't be serious," Jessica says.

"Shut up," says Taeyeon, again. Her mind is whirling. Without thinking she puts her hand back. There is so much hot familiar skin within reach.

"Here?" pursues Jessica. Her voice would climb two octaves if she wasn't so out of breath. "How crazy are you? I need to go out and perform in one hour, you know that – "

"I didn't know that," says Taeyeon. It's a lie. It's the easier lie to say. Before Jessica can retort, she skates her hand slightly further up. The touch is meant to be scientific. Instead, it makes Jessica's breath hitch in a way that sets Taeyeon's head on fire.

"Fine. Do it – do it – "

"You can't say you haven't thought about this," says Taeyeon, and she can't even recognize the sound of her own voice anymore.

"No," says Jessica. It would be much more convincing if Taeyeon couldn't feel Jessica shaking against her hand. The tremors are minute. It's just beyond Taeyeon's grasp. Some part of her is begging to stop and think but she is just so close – she is so close to –

Her fingers brush up, almost accidentally. Jessica's breath stutters. Stops. Then starts, again. Taeyeon is up high now, high enough to know how much Jessica wants this.

"Fuck you," Jessica chokes out.

"Stop talking," says Taeyeon. Then she slips in a finger and Jessica stiffens so immediately that everything stops for a beat. It's so hot. It's so hot, up here.

In the next beat Jessica starts shaking, again. Her fingernails sting where they scrape down Taeyeon's back but Taeyeon might be shaking herself. She can't think, can't get a moment to – She mouths along Jessica's jaw again, tries to ignore the way Jessica's gasping. Jessica's breathing grows more erratic. Everything about the dark is too close. Taeyeon doesn't want to see Jessica, doesn't want to see the way Jessica's eyes are probably shut, doesn't want to see if she is as beautiful like this as Taeyeon remembers.

"Use – "

"I remember," snaps Taeyeon, and slips two more fingers inside and oh god, oh god Jessica's so wet Taeyeon thinks she's going to faint from delirium. Her head won't stop spinning. This is – she wants to bite – she wants to leave a mark on Jessica that won't fade again – she slides her fingers out, and then back in, all at once. Jessica gasps, again, right next to Taeyeon's ear. Her forehead drops against Taeyeon's shoulder and then it's so familiar this could be dangerous. Jessica must sense it, too, because she draws back almost immediately.

"Harder," says Jessica. It's a demand and to punish her for it, Taeyeon twists her fingers. Jessica cries out and Taeyeon wishes nonsensically that it didn't affect her so much.

"You've got to be quiet," says Taeyeon.

"Harder," says Jessica, a break in her voice, and it bursts something in Taeyeon's mind. She presses closer in the dark and twists her fingers again and Jessica cries out in the exact same way. "Harder," says Jessica, again, and Taeyeon can't stop obeying. Everything is wet and Jessica is trembling against her and the wave of want that hits Taeyeon all over again is too much; she can't stand it, she surges forward –

Then Jessica cries out against her mouth again. Her whole body dips, not exactly collapsing, so that Taeyeon doesn't exactly catch her, either. Everything is dark. Jessica's breaths are ragged in the silence.

What are they doing, Taeyeon thinks, suddenly. What was she thinking? This can't end well. They're in public. Taeyeon just shoved Jessica into a _closet_. How many people could have been outside? How many people could have seen them? There are too many people all the time everywhere and there are too many cameras and the stage is just over there and oh, god, they're going to get caught, like this, after all this time. Oh, god, she's going to get caught, in the dark, and Jessica – Jessica's going to leave. Jessica's going to walk away, again, and –

Then Jessica whirls around, twists, and suddenly Taeyeon's back is slammed against the wall.

"What – " she starts.

"Stop talking," says Jessica. She is still breathing hard but she moves closer and just like that Taeyeon can't think past the press of Jessica's body again. It's too much. She needs to run – she needs to kiss Jessica again – she needs to hide. 

Then Jessica slots a thigh between Taeyeon's legs, and the whole world grounds to a halt, narrowing down to that touch, in the dark. Taeyeon is afraid to move. But she can sense the warmth just beyond the fabric of her jeans. It's not enough. It's not nearly enough.

Suddenly Taeyeon is glad it is dark. She can imagine how knowing Jessica's eyes must look, right now. She wouldn't be able to stand it if she was able to see it.

"Come on," says Jessica, and presses Taeyeon's shoulder against the wall. "Are you as easy as before?"

"Shut up," says Taeyeon, but she can't make it sound as convincing as she wants when she's gasping. Then Jessica leans in and kisses Taeyeon until Taeyeon's straining for more.

"Are you?" says Jessica.

"I. I – "

"I think you are," says Jessica. Her hands land on the wall, framing either side of Taeyeon's head. Her mouth hovers. It feels so near, in the dark. Jessica feels so near. For a second it is all too much. It is all much too close to everything that's been rotting away inside Taeyeon's chest and Taeyeon pushes against her, desperate to get out. But their legs jostle again, slightly, at the motion and then Taeyeon isn't thinking anymore, is just desperate for some relief. Any kind of pressure against Jessica's thigh. But Jessica isn't moving it. Jessica is pressing Taeyeon back against the wall; she's doing everything but shifting her thigh up against her. It's maddening. It's maddening until through the fog of need Taeyeon understands.

"You want me to – "

"Come on," says Jessica. Her breathing is more or less back to normal again. Her voice is normal again, too, except for the subtle taunt beneath the surface.

"You," says Taeyeon, and can't even manage to make it sound as angry as she feels. "You – "

"Come on," says Jessica, again, and the taunt is still there, but there's something else in Jessica's voice that Taeyeon can't think straight enough right now to name. Jessica doesn't move her thigh one centimeter upwards. It is driving Taeyeon insane.

"Stop – stop teasing," Taeyeon manages to grit out.

"How long have you wanted this? Months? Years? Nights?" challenges Jessica. Her voice drops. There is a low curl at the end and it is suggestive and obscene in a way that Jessica usually never sounds.

Taeyeon arches towards it. "I. I don't – "

But that isn't even the right question, and, even in the dark, Jessica knows.

"How long have you wanted to have me again?"

"Oh – "

"Come on," she says, again, and Taeyeon can't think. Her body feels like it's suspended in balance – it's been forever, she wants – "I'm right here," says Jessica, and Taeyeon gives up, grinds down on Jessica's thigh, and for once it's real again, real and warm, she can't stop moving against it, she can't stop moving against Jessica, she's choking on her breath as she comes in her jeans, and it's not enough.

Jessica holds her up for a second before drawing away. Taeyeon stumbles back without the support. The wall is cool against her back. Her mind starts spinning a little less without any contact. Her shoulders start aching. But it is not the only thing that aches, and it is not the thing that aches the most now by far. Jessica is turning away, tugging up the part of her shirt that had slipped off her shoulder. There was so much skin bared there, but – no. It is just another reminder that Taeyeon can't – doesn't have the right to it. Taeyeon hasn't had the right to it in a long time. Now Jessica is buttoning up the one button of her shirt that had somehow gotten loose between them. Taeyeon watches her silently, in the dark, and aches.

"This wasn't – "

"No."

They don't touch each other in the dark.

"There. Are you happy now?" says Jessica, quietly, and Taeyeon doesn't know what she means. Jessica is glancing at her as if she does. But Taeyeon has no idea. This could not be worse.

"Congratulations on your album," says Taeyeon.

"Don't," says Jessica.

There are footsteps outside. They both become aware of it at the same time. The footsteps grow faint. In the darkness they wait it out. Jessica's moved towards the door. For the thousandth time Taeyeon thinks about how dangerous this was. They could have been caught. They could have been exposed. They could have been splayed across tomorrow's deadlines. They could have – no.

"I'll go first," says Jessica. Her voice is low. Taeyeon remembers it when it was breaking and wishes she didn't. Jessica glances back over her shoulder at her once, at the door. Then she goes. Just like that. The door shuts with a click and Taeyeon doesn't possess the willpower to watch.

Now the closet seems even darker. Taeyeon waits, does not know how long she waits. Her skin dries. Her shirt begins to stick.

The closet grows cold. More footsteps come outside and go. The dark doesn't change a bit. Taeyeon waits until it is completely silent everywhere before she turns the doorknob and goes to gather the remains of the day.


End file.
